the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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