Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
