I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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