i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
