Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
