i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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