Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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