I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
