I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I will be naked everywhere
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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