Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
