Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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