Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Hippo gnu deer
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
