You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i love accidental penises.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
this hospital has no fireball
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
