Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
