I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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