i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
