I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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