i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
