Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
