My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
