You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
