I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
