I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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