Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just had sex on a roof
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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