we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
