i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
