If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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