I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
