if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
