I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
