I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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