Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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