At least make sure they are 18
Why
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
