Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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