Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
