you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
