we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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