how can u be prego again
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
they're like a gay fantastic four
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
