i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
