Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
