How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You are a genius and a whore.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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