ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
