New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
