you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
not ubering you a puppy
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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