how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
