My first STD was from a foam party
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
