Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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