Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
