i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
