Its about making memories worth repressing
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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