I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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