is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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