are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
