Everything about him screamed your future.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
