About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
